
Inspired by successful lawsuits against tobacco companies, some obese folks hope to
squeeze money out of fast food places. The reasoning seems to be this: "Hi, I'm a big, fat idiot. It's your fault, because you sell things that I like." Seems that french fries probably don't qualify as "addictive" (there are no significant withdrawal symptoms) and I've never seen an ad that suggested a whopper is healthy. If this works, I'm suing movie theaters, who not only provided buttered popcorn, but had my consume it while sitting on my ass. Then I'm going after the potato chip companies---ought not to be able to sell deliciously salted, fried potatoes, now that
we suspect they may lead to cancer. In fact, I have a new policy---I'm suing everybody who's ever sold me anything. My mental health isn't everything it could be, and I suspect it's that my expectations never exactly match my experience. I'm addicted to
capitalism, consumerism, and materialism, you see, and these punks feed my sickness.