“The Rules of Attraction” may be the best of the movies I lump it with---somewhat arty movies, with several known stars, about severely broken people avoiding their angst by exploring sexuality and by abusing drugs. (Others, if you like that sort of thing, would include: Happiness, Hurlyburly, and Mullholland Drive.)

I do not like this type of movie.

The overriding premise seems to be that the rules of attraction are not symmetric---in the words of Peter Wolf:

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
Ya just can't win

But the degree to which Bret Easton Ellis must have experienced depravity and debauchery in college makes me feel like quite a piker. I mean, I don't know how many days the story is supposed to span---it seems like only a few. In that time, we see virtually everyone abuse multiple drugs, screw multiple people (sometimes those they don't even like, as a means of social agression against competitive suitors.), and...well, the closest we see them get to a class, is when two students try to go to a class, only to find it's been cancelled. Or when the most “goody goody” of the students gives a professor a blowjob to get an A. Yes, she was the most “proper”. She was intentionally remaining a virgin---but apparently had a reputation among professors as easy to get a hummer from. We her get raped and hear her describe it as “not that bad”. We see someone commit suicide because of unrequited lust. We see the pill-popping mothers that led to some of these severely broken college students.

It's over the top. Every character in this movie would have committed suicide if their lives were really this tweaked.

Best things about the movie: 1) Jessica Biel prancing around in lingerie. 2) Jessica Biel walking on her hands in her underwear. 3) Interesting forward and reverse film effects to change perspectives.

Worst thing about the movie: That the author, the studio execs, the producers, the directors, and the actors all thought this was close enough to reality that it could be seen as a tragedy rather than an absurdist nightmare.

Notable Quotes/paraphrases:

Fred Savage's character (yes, Fred Savage of “The Wonder Years”), after shooting up: “I can feel my dick!” (followed by some atonal clarinet tooting)

James Van Der Beek's character: “Note to self: never shroom before sex.”

James Van Der Beek's character, after sex: “What's the matter? I told you I came.”

Response from Jessica Biel's character: “I was born in a Holiday Inn.”

James Van Der Beek's character, to Shannon Sossamon's character: “Don't you see? I only *censored*ed her because I love you.”

Overall, I'd give this film three happy-faces out of 10: 