Since when does marrying George Hamilton and Rod Stewart make you a celebrity? Apparently Alana Stewart has a TV show that she hosts, although I have no clue what it is. She has turned out to be a complete b***h, all the while insisting she is easy to get along with. Her catfights with Julie Brown (formerly of MTV fame when Michael Jackson was still black) aren’t even enough to make this show interesting. Melissa Rivers is NOT a celebrity. She’s on an entertainment show because her mother got her the job. She cries like the typical whiny princess that she is, and I’m sorry if that is offensive to those who like her, it’s the truth.

Robin Leach is classic, and he’s got a high enough Q rating to fit the “celebrity” billing. Chris Judd is a clown, and I can’t waste any more words on him. Bruce Jenner was a good looking stud, and a man’s man during his decathlon glory days. Who this new freak is, I don’t know, but sue the plastic surgeon. Tyson Beckford is a model, and there are hundreds of other models making more money than he does that 99% of the population could not name if they were paid a million dollars. Enough said. I had to look up Maria Conchita Alonso on the ABC website. Enough said. Nikki Schieler Ziering was married to the blonde dude from 90210 and posed for Playboy. If that makes you a celebrity, half of Southern California could have been on this show. John Melendez has a circle of fame in the New York area from Howard Stern’s talk show. He seems like a cool guy, so I’ll leave it at that.

Summary? These dummies had no idea what was in store for them, and ABC had to fight through a potential CBS (Survivor) lawsuit to get this show on the air. Truly, this is Celebrity Survivor Australia, isn’t it? The only difference is that America votes everyone out (instead of immunity challenges and tribe votes), the timeline is dropped from 39 days to 15, and instead of 16 castaways there are 10. Imagine it this way, the tribes merge at 10 right? So in essence they just speed up the process so these poor “celebrities” don’t have to starve to death. Watching George Hamilton’s former wife relieve herself in the middle of the night is not my idea of entertaining television. John Lehr is a moron whose only claim might be that he’s the first gay reality host. Heck, I’m not even sure he’s gay, but he sure acts like he is … “not that there’s anything wrong with that” as Jerry Seinfeld would say. I’m done for now, and this show is far less entertaining than Celebrity Mole. ABC is sinking.