For the love of God is anyone else blown away at home about how much trouble these kids are in? First there was a covered up incident wherein a final 32 contestant punched a man outside a Philly bar (any info from our local correspondent Sarcasmo?) resulting in his death at the hands of a cement sidewalk. Then there was the less criminal, but still scandalous Frenchie porn incident. Last week Trenyce was revealed to be Lashundra Cobbins, which is weird to me because weren’t they supposed to erase her record based on the deal she cut? Then came last night and you won’t believe what happened … Before the singing started, Corey Clark (who I liken to Krusty the Klown from The Simpsons) was booted because of criminal charges hanging over his head stemming from an arrest alleging that he beat up his 15 year old sister. He says he is not guilty of the crime, but is guilty of hiding it from producers. I’m starting to think these background checks are done by the same guys who put Al Qaeda men into the coc kpits of airplanes.

What really ticked me off was that since someone got booted, why didn’t Jula DeMato get a second chance to redeem herself? I guess they didn’t care that this took one week off the life of the show, they’ll just fill it in with another crummy recap show or a promo for Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson’s new movie. Finally, on to the actual show.

On Disco night, no one sang Electric Avenue and that was too bad. Rickey Smith sucked up to the guest judge (Verdine White from Earth Wind & Fire) by singing his song Let’s Groove. He came out with big hair and a lousy voice. Amazingly, when he ditched the hair, it got better. Simon told him he could see that performance at a “children’s party” and when dipstick Rickey (who you still know as Hercules! Hercules!) talked back with his “I’m an entertainer” diatribe Simon fired back “clowns can entertain”. My point exactly, God bless Simon.

Carmen Rasmusen sang Turn the Beat Around, and I’m not certain that’s disco. Didn’t Miami Sound Machine sing that song? I seem to remember it being in 80’s movies, but whatever. She sounded great according to norcaldoll, who listened intently while I cooked pasta. I felt like she got loose and explored her entertainer side, but she was not great on the lyrics. Simon called her the “best commercial girl” and then she revealed she got hair extensions. Is Hollywood getting to the young Mormon kid from Utah?

Kimberly Caldwell is a favorite of my niece, who I’ll refer to as Steely. She performed Knock on Wood, a killer song with tons of potential. The problem is she can’t pull it off, and the sound setup they have there sucks. Her outfit was horrible (what on earth was that jewelry around her bicep?) and it was an awful take on the song. Simon gave her a “six and a half out of ten … woopie” rating. He hit that dead on, she needs to go, sorry Steely.

Clay Aiken is a stud. He ruled Everlasting Love. Simon called him “terrible” and I’d like to find out why he can’t accept the greatness of Clay while he doles out praises to potheads like Ruben. The guy can sing the phone book, and he’s going to be the last person standing at the end. I’ll make sure of that when the time comes.

Trenyce thinks she can sing Whitney Houston with I’m Every Woman, which is another Disco song, right? What am I missing here? Her performance was horrid. She came out looking like Jackie Brown and singing like her too. Screaming doesn’t make your voice better girl, and that mug shot was scary by the way. Simon said “it was alright” and again appeared unimpressed much of the night.

Ruben Studdard should be required to wear something other than a stupid 205 shirt. His idea of fashion is a color change, and while his voice is good at times, his Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe was nothing special. If they do background tests, why don’t they test this bloke for dope? Simon was wrong in his assessment when he said “I think you should win this competition” because the guy is limited.

Kimberley Locke had a great opportunity to shine with It’s Raining Men. Her opening stunk, but she warmed up and it was pretty good. Simon had to zing at the sexuality of the host by saying she “did Ryan Seacrest’s favorite song justice”. Overall though, she was better than most on this night.

Joshua Gracin tried to sing Celebration, which I enjoyed as a kid at the end of every Oakland Athletics win. I was not enjoying his rendition. He did what he could with it, and then claimed to be sick. He was lying, and it was obvious. He just couldn’t pull it off. Simon called him “dreadful” and he’s right. On this night he was.

I gave top billing to Carmen, Clay and Kimberley Locke in that order with Ruben as the other top half performer. The worst were Kimberly Caldwell, Trenyce and Rickey with Joshua barely eluding that group. I am convinced that Kimberly Caldwell or Trenyce will be gone, and I’m taking Trenyce because I think her support dipped when the mug shots were pasted all over the internet. Rickey Smith earned another bottom three by talking back to the judges, and I wouldn’t be stunned if he was gone, but I don’t predict it happening this week. If anyone else is in the bottom three it would have to be Kimberley Locke, although I think she has rebounded nicely and won over some fans. I’m done for now.