\"Stars aren\'t born they\'re created — just ask the Monkees. All you need is the big break and American Idol is it. Whether it was an impromptu serenade in the school cafeteria or the business presentation-turned-standup routine, you\'ve always been a performer at heart\"

Oh the humanity. These people haven\'t heard me sing. Or maybe they have heard me sing and figure that I can be like the dumbass who was dubbed the Worst Singer in the World for his Like a Virgin rendition.

Either way, I wouldn\'t be on American Idol for love or money because I couldn\'t Survivor the exposure to the real world.