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Books on my bedside

EntertainmentI recently finished Eragon and Eldest.  (Buy 'em both, here.)

I know there are plenty of people who dislike these books.  And they make some excellent points.  But I found them very entertaining (Eldest moreso than Eragon), and am looking forward to the third.  So let's get some of the valid points out of the way:

  • Paolini frequently writes in odd syntax, as if to make himself sound more intellectual.  (A common one is to put a dependent phrase before the subject, and not use contractions, as in "Why Small.to hasn't made dbsmall a celebrity, he knew not.")
  • Paolini has a giant vocabulary, and delights in demonstrating the fact.
  • It's derivative (of many "mentor-led quest" fantasy stories before---Star Wars and the Hobbit, included.)
  • It's downright imitative (in the naming of the places)

Mmmkay, so I understand all of that, but I still think it's worth reading.
The fact is, the story's a good one.  And it wasn't (to me) predictable.  And some of the original material is very enjoyable "candy reading".

I'll also see the movies, as I think the story lends itself to film.  That, and John Malkovich and Jeremy Irons are fine actors.  I like dragons.  And while I've never heard of her, and she's a little thin and blonde to play Arya, I think, Sienna Guillory does seem to have the bone structure to play an elf.  Plus, she's not hard on  the eyes.

I headed to Wal-Mart to pick up State of Fear, that Michael Crichton novel I'd sworn not to read.  But darn it, Crichton's an enjoyable read, always.  Odd thing was, Wal-Mart didn't carry any of his books!  And there it was, The Da Vinci Code, for only $4.97.  I figure, at that point, Dan Brown is only in it to get volumes up to drive sales of the Movie.  He's not making a penny of of it.
Sure, sure, I'd sworn off Dan Brown since I read the steaming pile of verbal poop that was Digital Fortress.  It's bad.  Really bad.  But so many people seem so excited about Tha DVC, that I decided to give it a shot.

In the first 10 pages, you find a self-flagellating albino assassin killing someone at the Louvre.  In the next 10 pages, you get a dying man who, rather than leaving a straightforward message, leaves a string of clues, in the most immature, stupid form of encryption.  I mean, the book is better than DF.  But come on, Dan Brown's put unnecessary detail, irrelevant to the story, just to tittilate us.  And that, my friends, is a decent working definition of pornography.  And if I'm going to experience porn, there'd better be pictures to go with it.

In summary, read the Inheritance Trilogy.  Consider State of Fear.  And shame on those of you who've made Dan Brown wealthy.


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Books on my bedside
Authored by: dbsmall on Friday, June 23 2006
Lest you believe I think Dan Brown's the worst bestselling author, ever, think again.  Walt Becker wrote Link, which is a SHOCKINGLY bad book.
Books on my bedside
Authored by: dbsmall on Monday, June 26 2006
Oh, Sacred Feminine, how bad a wroter is Dan Brown!
I want to like the book.  But in addition to the "porn", he once again delights in his apparent hobbies of cryptography and language.  I say "hobbies", because he's terrible at both of 'em.

Here's my impression of Dan Brown, should he write a story that takes place in Germany:

"Aha!" thought the lead character, a self-described intellectual who I'll bet resembles Dan Brown.  "The encoded message signs off with 'dank', which I thought was the English word.  But I am brilliant, as I shall now demonstrate."
"What do you mean?" asked the doe-eyed, surprisingly vulnerable, beautiful, intelligent woman whose an expert in linguistics but surprisingly needs to lean on the layman-lead-character for emotional and intellectuall support, and doesn't say things that are very complicated.
"Dank is German for 'Thank You'," the lead said, a flash of self-aggrandizement spreading across his face, despite the fact that he left off the last e.  "And if you substitute another letter for each of the letters in 'Thank You', you get 'screw pig', an obvious indication that the note-author kept kosher, so..."  (Nevermind that the German word is danke, or that you could choose just about anything and substitute-cipher something meaningful for it.)
"unrelated nonsense likely plaigiarized from another book," said another character, an eccentric with lots of power or money and expertise in the subject at hand---cryptography tied to religion---and with some physical infirmity.


Crimony, this guy's a hack!