Subtlety is not one of my strengths

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Tuesday, March 20 2018



This is not a paid endorsement. Kettle foods isn't paying me. I think they may be trying to kill me.


Three facts you may already know about me, and which are almost certainly documented on this website (though I'm not able to find such documentation, right now):

  1. Once I open a package, if I'm eating from the package, it is a single serving.

  2. My favorite “junk food” is chips

  3. I believe the greatest chip, of all time, was Kettle Chips Red Chili flavor

When we were dating, my wife doubted point number one. One Friday night she dropped off a Costco sized back of Kettle-branded chips (2 pounds? 3 pounds? I can't really remember.) When she came to visit on Saturday, I was torpid on the couch, in a chip-induced stupor.


I didn't realize point number two until recently. But I believe it's true. I really, really like chips.


And some of you have heard me tell the legend of the Red Chili chips. Perhaps, because you've never seen them, you doubted me. (After all, they're not even listed as retired flavors.)


But, according to the back of the single serving bag I just consumed, someone at Kettle Foods, some absolute GENIUS, named Jimmy, has missed these chips as much as I have. I was at the market the other day, and I saw “Limited Batch” Red Chili Kettle Chips. I wasn't sure they'd be the same, so I only bought two single-serving bags. [I should also buy some cheddar beer chips, which are also good, but not in the same league.)


Oh, my goodness. Jimmy, you are my hero. You are a man, not only of great taste, but of the perseverance and commitment that's needed, today. Perhaps you should be President. No, sir, that may not be a lofty enough title for you. You should be the Chip Emperor. Should you find yourself in Northern California, please contact me. We'll have a lunch or two treat, to show my gratitude.


[Oh, and...should any Kettle-folk be reading this, I have a few ideas for flavors...which I'd be glad to discuss with Jimmy...Here's my teaser of ideas:

  • Samosa – You know those Indian samosas, with the peas and potato curry, which are so delicoius? Well, gee, a similarly spiced chip might be similarly delicous.

  • Margarita – No, no, not the drink. Think about a Margarita pizza (with capers and basil and fresh tomatoes). But then, please remember that cilantro is often tastier than basil. Yes, a potato chip with tomato flavor and cilantro.

  • Greekherder -Oh, who doesn't love feta? How about a basic feta and lemon flavored chip?

  • Adobo – Filipinos eat plenty of Adobo...meat cooked in vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, and crushed black pepper. It's a pretty winning flavor combination.


No, not all of them are ethnically-inspired, but here are some...]


But really, talk to me soon.  Because I only can eat so many more single-servings, and you're rushing me by limiting the production of the Red Chili Kettle Chips.  With that kind of scarcity, I may need to bump it up to 2 servings a day...

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Authored by: SolandS23 onMonday, December 26 2016
Might give these foods a try, now that Christmas is almost over, it's about time we plan our fitness training next year.  Shakes in particular can help you loose weight, just replace 1-2 meals of the day with shakes and you'll be okay.  Unlike the food listed via review which are not carb friendly at all.


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