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Wednesday, January 18 2017

Star Wars Marathon Stream of Consciousness

EntertainmentHere are the notes I took during the Star Wars marathon.  I don't think there are any spoilers in here.  In fact, some of it doesn't even make sense to me, in the full light of day.  But you can sense the disappointment I felt in all of George Lucas' movies

12:11am, December 17th:  How much longer will this go on?

I don't know what that referred to.  The movies had not yet started.  I think it must have been an introduction by the Theater Staff, that was not organized in advance.

 

12:19am: I do not believe this popcorn was made in the last 24 hours.

Obviously, I was not setting the stage for success.

 

Phantom Menace

  • Holy crap these are cruddy special effects (for blockade character)
  • Terrible masks.  The mouths move all wrong.  The mouths are anuses.
  • Oh, I want one of those rebreather mouthpieces the Jedi have.
  • Tattooine homes are  a joke. These people have landcruisers, and build androids, but they can't even build a concrete/mud hut with planar walls.
  • Anakin is a crap actor.  I can't blame Lucas for this.
  • The Gungan leader makes no sense.  He loves to shake his jowls, but nobody else shakes theirs.  What the heck?  This is cartoonish for cartoon's sake.
  • Obi Wan should have meditaed like Qui-Jon.  Anger leads to the dark side.  I don't know what this refers to, but it had something to do with him losing his mind and seeking vengeance.  By Yoda's reasoning, he should have ended up on the dark side.

Attack of the Clones

  • There is a dude in the theater dressed up as the Marvel Comic character, Thor.  My friend here is impressed with the costume.  I'd be more impressed if the dude managed to bring a girlfriend.
  • Yoda: "Mmmmm....The Dark side clouds everything."---ridiculous
  • Anikin is a horrible actor  "that little boy I knew on Tattooine"
  • "I've thought of her every day"---someone acquired an accent for ONE LINE
  • OBW points at a stellar map and says something is "South".  WTH does south mean in space?
  • Love tension between Amidala and Ani is uncomfortable
  • Stupid motorcycle.  That makes no sense.
  • Dumb romance.
  • Ani's mom: "I love..." was probably going to finish with "ice cream".  Who doesn't love ice cream?
  • Oh man, Yoda is looking at you like "It's time to go Muppet on your @ss"
  • Amidala was moaning until someone asks her "Are you alright?"  She simply answers "uh-huh" and can magically get up.  WORDS HAVE POWER, FOLKS.

Revenge of the Sith

  • "I am never leaving my..." finish that with "wingman", there, Maverick.
  • Yeah, wookies!
  • Back & Forth on who presents to the politicians sucks.
  • Why do Wookies have a tarzan call?
  • Padme was once a leader.  Now, she's a fragile little flower.  WTF?
  • Strange how much Vader's propaganda sounds so much like George W. Bush propaganda.  (good/evil, with us/against us, resolve)
  • It is strange how the attendees here have been trying to out-nerd each other for hours, but as soon as anyone (me) reveals they're not fans of the movie, they start to out-cool each other.  "Oh, I'm not a fan, either..."  Guys, if you like the movie, like the movie.  Sheesh.

A New Hope

  • Special effects were considered revolutionary in the 70s.  They do not hold up.
  • These guys are really well protected, wearing helmets and leather f*ing vests
  • Stone igloos with lots of technology.  Wheee!
  • Luke is really whiny when it comes to power converters
  • Luke: "I believe everything you're saying, Crazy Old Ben".  Seriously, Ben was a crazy dude earlier this day, and now he's your mentor?
  • One story, one brief story, and now suddenly Luke wants to be a Jedi (knight)?
  • "The force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded"...swell, that sounds positively Marxist, if you realize the Force is a %^&* religion.

 

At that point, I gave up taking notes.

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Star Wars Marathon Stream of Consciousness
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Star Wars Marathon Stream of Consciousness
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