Subtlety is not one of my strengths

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Wednesday, October 18 2017

Today's Kids Don't Demand Real Music

Entertainment

 I listen to the radio, a lot. And every once in a while, I'll hear a song in which the music is tolerable, or cute, or even nice to hear.  But the lyrics piss me off. And that's when I play a game...by changing only one or two phrases, or a title, make the lyrics work for me.

Here are a couple of examples:

1) Train has a new song called "Drive-By", which, in addition to being a tasteless use of gang warfare lingo to describe his romantic modus operandi, seems wrong at it's core.  The protagonist is trying to convince a woman to give him a chance at a long-term relationship, even though he's been a fleety guy with women, in the past.  He attempts to convince her:  "This is not a drive-by".  Baby, that one-night-stand we had?  That was some mind-blowing sex---so good that I didn't leave immediately afterwards.  Do you know how great that is?  Let me compare my love for you to a garbage-liner.  Convinced?  It's not like I'm going on a mobile killing spree!

You can see that this makes no sense.  It's unlikely to be persuasive.  But change the title (and chorus) from "Drive-By" to the (obviously untrue) "Drunk Dial".  Viola...it makes sense now, yes?

 2) Jazon Mraz, love him or hate him, is a gifted singer and songwriter.  But in "I'm Yours", he kills me, every time, with "It's our God-forsaken right to be loved...."  [Don't worry, I keep being reborn]  Change "God-forsaken" to "God-gvien", and the song works again.  Well, except "our name is our virtue", which sounds like an ad for an insurance company.  Change that to "we are our own virtue", and it works, again...or "beauty's not our (only) virtue"...

 

So...play the game with me.  What word, phrase, or title can you change in popular songs to make them "work", so that you can enjoy the music?

[Need some ideas of songs to fix?  

Here's an easy one---just fix the grammar, without ruining the meter, in fun's "We Are Young": "So if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down, I'll carry you home."

Or go with just about anything from Kelly Clarkson, and you'll find one line that they couldn't be bothered to fix.  Or...there are usually very few words in a Nicki Minaj song, so just write all the lyrics to one of her songs to make it palatable, fi you can.

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Today's Kids Don't Demand Real Music
Authored by: Adam onTuesday, February 28 2012

LMFAO, "Sexy And I Know It". Change: "I got a passion in my pants, and I ain't afraid to show it." to: "I'm very excited to see you.".