Subtlety is not one of my strengths

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Friday, November 17 2017

n things about dbsmall

  1. I'm married to my soulmate and parent to my favorite kid.

  2. I'm 35, but look 34 and act 12.

  3. I wear patterned shirts and faded jeans.

  4. My favorite color is green.

  5. I am green color-blind.

  6. I have the largest collection of happy-face decorated items, probably, of anyone you've ever met.

  7. For a few years, I blew the shofar at the oldest synagogue west of the Mississippi.

  8. If I were a tree, I'd be a beech.

  9. If I were a beach, I'd still be white and surrounded by coconuts.

  10. I've piloted/driven/flown cars, planes, a helicopter, tractors, ATV's, jet-skis, but still no motorcycles.

  11. I've ridden a bike across Austria.

  12. I've milked a cow.

  13. I've never fired a real gun, but would like to.

  14. At my current height (5' 8”) I've weighed as little as 109 lbs. And as much as 170 lbs.

  15. I don't have a sweet tooth, but I do like good chocolate cake.

  16. I think deep-frying makes almost anything taste good.

  17. I hate donuts (deep-fried cake).

  18. I will try anything that is branded with a dinosaur.

  19. I've been to the top of Kilimanjaro, but threw up trying to hike up Mt. Whitney.

  20. I've pet a live, full-grown, unsedated tiger.

  21. I snowboard goofy-foot.

  22. I have run one marathon, and way too many triathlons.

  23. I think women stretching is sexy.

  24. Despite years of practice and effort, I never acquired a taste for beer.

  25. I've rafted class 5 rapids.

  26. I've surfed.

  27. I'm a certified open-water diver.

  28. I've got an engineering degree and an MBA, but my workplace often forgets about the MBA.

  29. I consider myself an entrepreneur, even though my last attempt without corporate backing failed.

  30. That your DSL upstream/downstream ratio is so lame is probably my fault.

  31. I used to be able to hold my breath for over 2 minutes.

  32. The smell of eucalyptus relaxes me.

  33. I think immigration is good for the economy, the cuisine, and physical aesthetics.

  34. I've walked with a monkey on a leash (in Indonesia).

  35. I'm a vegetarian.

  36. I'm adamant about my personal ethical code, which probably makes me seem arrogant to some.

  37. I speak English. After English, the languages I know the most words in (decreasing order) are: German, Spanish, Hebrew, Tagalog, Tongan....but I only speak English.

  38. I've been told by multiple women that I'm not really a guy. And they all meant it as a compliment.

  39. I'm not a fan of porn, because seeing other people get off doesn't do it for me.

  40. I have no fantasies of 2 women at the same time.

  41. Several friends in high school compared me to Ferris Bueller. I hated that character and how he treated his friends. Now, I get a lot of “Chandler Bing” comparison, which is flattering since I think I'm more like Ross Geller.

  42. I've seen bigfoot, and still think it might exist.

  43. I don't believe in intelligent extraterrestrials.

  44. I like spicy food.

  45. I'm often loud and boisterous. So people don't believe that I was neurotically shy until I was in college.

  46. I didn't have a “favorite number” until last year. It's 3 now (the day of the month my son was born, the month my wife and I were married, the nearest integer to both e and pi.)

  47. I either strongly believe in mental telepathy and precognition, or strongly disbelieve it. It depends on the day.

  48. I either like most people or can't stand most people. It depends on the day.

  49. I remember a lot of my dreams.

  50. I climbed Dunn's River Falls in Jamaica.

  51. I like rum.

  52. My fingers have unusually large first knuckles

  53. I have a long, dexterous tongue.

  54. I have not always been a nice person.

  55. I have freakishly good hearing.

  56. I have no stereo vision (depth-perception).

  57. I prefer hole-in-the-wall dining establishments to chains.

  58. I hated sushi until last year.

  59. Mushrooms are delicious cooked, disgusting raw.

  60. My hair has been long, short, assymetric, permed, blonde, pink, and red.

  61. I've never been in a fistfight. There are times when I think I shouldn't have smoothed out the situation, though, where I'd have been happier clocking the other guy.

  62. I'm afraid of heights.

  63. It is almost impossible to intimidate me.

  64. I don't like the nickname Dave. Well, not for me, anyway.

  65. I hate doing dishes.

  66. I love cooking.

  67. I know that great cooks think a knife is the most important kitchen tool. But my $10 cleaver from Chinatown and the free knife I got at a demonstration work fine for me. What I really like is my non-stick ceramic alloy cookware and my gas stove.

  68. In general, I'm not a fan of tattoos.

  69. I could once play every Beatles song on guitar. Now I don't even know the words to some of them.

  70. I want to be your friend.

  71. I believe that, to a larger extent than it's usually given credit, your mood is a choice.

  72. I didn't get along with my older sister until she left for college.

  73. I am influenced more by ideas than by people.

  74. I value virtue over pragmatism.

  75. Boredom is my arch-enemy.

  76. In my entire life, I've only truly hated 3 people.

  77. I'm coordinated and flexible, have good balance and strong legs. But I'm a terribly slow swimmer and a horrible baseball player.

  78. I often feel entitled to better than I get.

  79. I'm awkward walking down stairs.

  80. I'm a plan-before-you-doer. When my brothers-in-law went skiing with me (and I was dating their sister), they would ask what I was doing at the top of a run. “Planning my line,” I'd answer.

  81. I wish I could find a job that would enable me to eat, travel, and talk for a living.

  82. I consider myself a touchy-feely person, but I have some strange rules about hugs.

  83. I'm usually cold.

  84. You've heard about people who have a “line” that can be crossed. “I don't get [adjective] easily,” they'll say, “but when I do...” I am this way about getting angry, sick, excited,....almost anything.

  85. I am hypercompetitive, but lately people seem to think I'm not. I can't imagine why.

  86. I love games and puzzles. Well, no, I don't like jigsaw puzzles. I mean brainy puzzles, not mind-numbing process puzzles.

  87. I have a trustworthy appearance. People walk up to me at the BART station and hand me money, and ask me to help them buy tickets, for example.

  88. Freud said that all desires emanated from two foundational ones: the sex urge and the need to be great. That dude had me pegged.

  89. Dale Carnegie says the need to be great has great overlap with being appreciated. Not me. I want to be liked.

  90. I don't like opera.

  91. If I could save time in a bottle, I'd also be quite wealthy.

  92. I have points at the tips of my ears and points behind my ears, causing one friend to insist that I'm a “changeling”, an elven child that's been swapped for a human child. Sadly, I can't fly.

  93. I like all sorts of apes, but the siamangs are my favorites to watch.

  94. My favorite food is no longer pizza or Arab-style falafel. It's dahi vada.

  95. I live in a house that is bigger and fancier than I ever thought I'd live in.

  96. Despite being socially liberal, I don't have an issue with Wal-Mart, as they've yet to cause harm to one of my favorite people or one of my favorite other local businesses.

  97. I do have an issue with Blockbuster, though.

  98. Were it not for the ethics thing, I think I'd like to be a con man.

  99. I admit it when I'm wrong.

  100. I never get blisters.

  101. I've been on TV several times.

  102. I once taught a group of first graders about aerodynamics using paper airplanes.

  103. I've never been arrested, though I've been detained and pulled over and questioned a few times (long-haired dudes wearing tye dye leaving a CSN concert sometimes attract attention.)

  104. I've never been to South America.

  105. I had several letters published in the pioneering computer-gaming magazine, Softline. I was in my imaginary teens (11 or 12) at the time.

  106. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get Playboy to sponsor my friends and me in a relay footrace.

  107. I'm an entrepreneur at heart, but I suspect that I will work until I retire from a big, risk-averse, slow-moving, bureaucratic, boring, non-innovative, process-oriented company.

  108. I have horrible handwriting, but was very good at lettering in any art classes I took.

  109. I have a terrible memory for static facts, and a phenomenal memory for processes.

  110. I eat a lot.

  111. I've seen the Mona Lisa in person, and been unimpressed. I've seen post-impressionist works by Vincent Van Gogh and Pisarro and felt teleported into a different place.

  112. I've never eaten pot brownies or cookies, despite having been to Jamaica and the Netherlands.

  113. I feel the void left by some people that are no longer in my life.

  114. I've had people specifically request my lasagne, garlic noodles, ang ang ang soup, and mulligatawny. Nobody has ever requested my pizza or cheesy-beer bread, which I think are my greatest creations in the kitchen.

  115. I read the complete works of Shakespeare one summer when I was a kid. But I didn't understand most of it. This is a familiar pattern of behavior I've repeated often. I hope to have broken the habit, now.

  116. I've hiked in Yosemite at least 15 times.

  117. The smell of vanilla attracts me more than it makes me hungry.

  118. I enjoy drinking cool, refreshing, diet cola beverages.

  119. I also enjoy vanilla-flavored things -- but only if it's real vanilla -- which is why I don't like vanilla diet coke as much as I thought I would.

  120. I like to eat cheese pizza with chili pepper flakes, and dipped in spicy brown mustard.

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